CultMaster 2000® from JeffLindsay.com

When I first met you, I thought you were a nice person and was not too concerned that you were a Catholic a Lutheran a peace activist a terrorist a soldier a Jehovah's Witness a Presbyterian evangelical a Mormon a Methodist a Muslim a Buddhist a Republican a flower child a pedophile a black belt a ninja an Amway Dealer a foreigner grossly overweight anorexic . In fact, you stimulated my interest in your beliefs. I began looking into your belief system, and was soon shocked to find that you believe in salvation that requires works salvation without works salvation by predestination salvation without predestination salvation through guns martial arts going to war opposing war multilevel marketing Elvis Buddha a low carb diet a high carb diet Arnold Schwarzenegger eating lots of meat eating hummus and that you reject plain Bible truth such as that found in Luke 24:36-41 John 4:24 Acts 7:55,56 John 10:30 Atkins 3:1 Matt. 16:27 Eph. 2:8 Eph. 4:11-14 Isaiah 37:36 Luke 47:16 Exodus 23:15 Arnold 13:22 the Koran Oprah 6:6:6 . Further, I was stunned to find that a seemingly intelligent person could possibly believe in non-Biblical absurdities such as infant baptism baptism by immersion baptism by sprinkling baptism of the dead baptism by Jacuzzi baptism by fire baptism of the Spirit karate motivational workshops Tony Robbins pacifism bombing Iraq wearing funny hats the Atkins diet avoiding grains avoiding meat avoiding wine drinking wine or, worse still, that you could believe in Biblical inerrancy errors in the Bible the Apocrypha the Book of Mormon the Old Testament the New York Times Windows 95 Pat Robertson tae kwan do Skull and Bones grossly inflated prices George W. Bush Al Gore Jerry Springer William Hung . Anyone that adheres to such heresies is obviously not an authentic Christian human being Republican Democrat environmentalist computer user artist athlete entrepreneur American human shield dieter intellectual candidate . In fact, I must warn you - in the spirit of pure love - that you are a member of a cult a lost and fallen soul a Satan worshipper guilty of treason a blight on society a threat to humanity a right-wing extremist a left-wing extremist an undecided extremist a journalist brainwashed dangerous intolerant a subhuman parasite taking away my customers toast a bloated tub of lard nothing but skin and bones and as such, you cannot be saved be a Christian be an American Idol be elected lose weight be trusted marry my daughter be my friend be tolerated reach Nirvana cash my check join my cult join my downline be empowered escape imprisonment escape auditing be a model .

I pray that you will return to the truth true church Republican party Democratic party way of life 20th century American way Tao Bible old job you had sewer you came from Pepsi generation X generation path of weight loss . There is still hope for you.

Sincerely Diplomatically With love A pox on you A thousand curses I feel your pain Just do it Eat cheese or die Eat bread or die Sayonara No more catalogs! Peace, dude Pig out ,